On a CB, 10-9 means repeat message.
You use it when the transmission broke up, or there was too much noise, or you just were not paying attention. Say again. I did not copy that.
Nobody takes offense at it. The guy repeats himself and you move on.
I used to say it out loud
For years I made the same joke with my buddies.
Can’t wait for my next toxic relationship. Can’t wait to meet my future ex-wife.
I thought that was funny. I was announcing the pattern out loud, in front of people, and laughing about it. And then going right back out and doing it again.
That went on well into my thirties.
Maybe it is not just them
A friend and I were having a couple of drinks one night, and I had just finished explaining every way my relationship at the time was falling apart. All her fault, obviously.
He listened to the whole thing, like he always did. Then he said something about how I keep ending up in the same kind of relationships and getting the same results, and maybe it is not just about them.
I laughed it off. I thought he was messing with me.
Then I realized he was serious, and it hit different.
We talked about it more that night, and more later on. And I started going back through my past relationships to check what he said against what actually happened.
He was right. There was a pattern, and it was my behavior.
It took a few months for the full weight of that to land on me. Not because I did not hear him. Because I did not want it to be true.
Spinning my tires
Here is how I understand it now.
God shows you what you are doing wrong by letting you keep making the same mistake, hoping you will eventually learn something from it.
Or not. That part is up to you.
I kept spinning my proverbial tires until I finally learned that I was my own biggest problem. That is a long way to go for a lesson somebody could have told me in one sentence, and somebody did tell me in one sentence, and I still needed years after that.
“The LORD says, ‘I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you. Do not be like a senseless horse or mule that needs a bit and bridle to keep it under control.’”
Psalm 32:8-9
He is willing to guide you. He would rather not have to drag you.
Years of driving, and then this
Now here is the part that keeps me honest.
Back around 2018 or so, years into driving for a living, I was out in my car. Got impatient behind somebody and took a stupid chance to get around them. Short distance. It saved me nothing. Did it right by a police station, and I was definitely speeding.
I spend all week in a truck watching people do exactly that and shaking my head at them.
I caught it immediately, which I guess is progress. But let us be honest about what happened there. I had learned to despise it when other people do it. I had not entirely learned not to do it.
Those are two different things, and I think a lot of us have the first one confused for the second one.
That was seven or eight years ago and I have grown a lot since then. That night was part of how I got here. But growing is not a finish line, and I still catch myself doing things I know better than to do, and I am still disappointed in myself every time.
“As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.”
Proverbs 26:11
That one is not gentle either. Most of the ones worth reading are not.
Say again
If something keeps showing up in your life, the same argument, the same kind of person, the same mistake with a different name on it, that is not bad luck.
That is a 10-9. The message did not get through the first time, so here it comes again.
And He does not get frustrated and quit transmitting. He does not take offense that you needed it repeated. He will say it again, and again, for as long as it takes.
The question is whether you are going to copy it this time, or make Him say it one more time.
If you are out on the road and could use a conversation with another believer, hit reply when you are parked. No pressure and nothing to join.